All in all..

And I'm back again!


I'm thinking about beggining a new blog, coz everytime I think about writting in this one I feel like is for nothing. Besides, most of my post are to unleash whatever I've been holding and turn out to be all about anger and frustration (at least that's how I see it). And everytime I wanna write about something I think about that and then I don't wanna write here that much. That and the fact that no one is reading it anymore. Not that I need people's attention.. (maybe I do?).. but is like a conversation I had once with a friend, where she said that we put subnicks on msn coz we want people to read them and ask us about them, meanwhile I felt like I wanted to put them coz I needed to express in some way but I didn't feel like answering the why I wrote them. That's one of the reasons why I never put subnicks or when I do I make sure they are simple or something that people wouldn't understand and ignore :P


Even tho I don't write here anymore I'm still writting posts in my head. I can't avoid it. I go driving somewhere and doing this review of what I wanna tell and how would I type it. The posts sound good in my head.. but they never leave it, hehe. I'm thinking about getting a new blog and giving it a different view. Like, instead of writting a lot about something, as if people are expecting to read a paper every week, I might do posts like this one or small posts with sentences or pictures. That's was the original idea of this one.. but as you can see it turned out to be something else. Also, I'm thinking about making a new msn, getting a clean list of people. I have guys that I have no idea where I met or if we ever talked, and I have some I know and I never talk either. I only need to find a good name for my msn and pray it's not taken ^^''


Ok, I'm gonna start working on that!

See ya on my next blog <3

Pieces of my mind..

I know I haven't written here in like forever and probably no ones reads it at this point but I felt like I needed to "share" my mind and a good friend once told me that maybe sometimes writting things down you can clear your mind or at least let the feeling out. And it helped the last times, so why not now?

I've been wanting to write for a while now.. but where to start now? :S Lately my thoughts change so much, so many points of view. Sometimes I feel like I have no life and that I should.. I don't know.. get out of the house and find one? But then I also start thinking that I like the way things are.. even if for some people is not considered a life. I like to daydream and think of the impossible things becoming posible. Even if they are things a kid would dream, with all that innocence and hope. One might get to feel a bit lonely sometimes, even if I have my group of friends and I see them every now and then and talk to them anytime I want. I miss what I had before :/ But one must move one even if you see how a great friendship starts falling apart and you feel hopeless seeing it go away and feeling there is nothing you can do. Is funny how one can be surrounded by friends and at the same time feel alone. And putting my hopes on fake ilusions, where you think things are one way with someone but really knowing that there is nothing there. And maybe whoever reads these would get the most common picture u can imagine, but it really is something so.. hmm.. of my head? that only I would know what I'm talking about. I know I must stop doing things like that one and get my feet on the ground, but is stronger than me. I can't help it. And the cicle repeats and I go along. Always hoping and dreaming for what won't happen.

These past days I did some research on what I wanna do for a living, like where would I want to be in the future, and something inside me told me I might have a chance at reaching one of my dreams. Working for one of those big companies that make videogames. I always wanted to be part of those games that everyone plays. I want to be a part of a team that makes a game which thousands of persons would love and get wouldn't be able to stop playing it. I guess that's my vision right now. Which is my mision? To get to be part of one of those teams. I know the vision is not that good but the fact that I'm remembering my professor explaining them and the fact that I'm actually using this is disturbing me hehe. Ok, ok, back to where I was. After looking at the requiriments and places where those companies are a bit of hope came and I really thing I can make it. I have to polish some knowledge and, of course, get the cash to get there and find were to stay and actually apply for the job and, finally and most important, getting it @_@ Only thinking of all makes me doubt I'll make it XD But I'll find a way! I have to start from the begining and see how to get to that.

Hehe, I see how my post goes from one feeling to another, completly different, and makes me think about how fast I am changing from one mood to another. And how different I am from what I was. I used to be quiet and let the world pass by and do whatever it wanted, as long as it didn't get in my way I was happy, a plain and simple way. Now I keep thinking of the present and the future and everything is a bunch of question marks, that drive my crazy if I look at them from too high. That's why I only take one or two at the time and try to figure them out (not always succeding) and maybe that's why my mood changes, depending on the question mark I'm dealing with is how my mood is. Life is life.

Well, I'm done for this time. Who knows when the next time I come here will be.

Thursday 13

Yes!! After all this weeks (months? lol) I write again! If it rains tomorrow I don't wanna be blamed. I'm still trying to get a picture of my dog, so don't worry you'll meet her soon.. somehow.

Ok. What to say about this beautiful day? It really was a bad day :( I mean, it started somehow good. I finally found the paper I had to read to do my presentation in class. So, I turn on the printer to print it and read it better. Why is the green light twinkling if there is nothing to print yet? Why doesn't it let me print it? :( (Yes, my printer has a mind of it's own) Ok, no printing today.. (And for the records it is still like that. Doesn't feel like turning off now ¬¬) So, I read from the doc and started working on my slides. Missed my jap class to finish it. Later, I had to go met with my group and.. what is that? My car broke! Lucky me it broke at the entrance of my house.. So, let's push it back inside. Ok. Need to take bus then. After some minutes waiting at the bus stop and a 30 minutes ride approx. I finally arrive. Nothing wrong happened while I was at the university (that I remember at least.. well.. there was a small thing.. but nothing big) Class is about to finish and there was no time left for my presentation, so it was postponed to next class.. (sarcasm on) yay! (sarcasm off) Luckily I was saved from hours of waiting at the bus stop for my bus from my friends who drove me all the way to my house <3 Thank you guys! ^^ Hmm.. then not much happened. I cleaned my fish tank s bit, minutes later my fish disconnect one of the air cables, but that's like daily stuff so it doesn't count. Oh! And a while ago I accidentally threw one of the remotes, but it still works and there were no scratches :P

Oh! And last night (was already thursday), I found out one of my earrings broke. So, my ears are naked until saturday if everything goes right. Hehe, I think that's all I can think of.

Small post but is better than none ;)

I should go to bed before anything else happens. Coz it still is thursday in other countries o.o *starts freaking*

Coz not everything is Bleh

After I wrote the last post and went to bed I noticed how grumpy it came out. I started complaining about something, then moved to something else and without knowing all the thing was about complaining. And I don't want my blog to look like one of an old woman that the only thing she does is talk about the bad things. You know. Someone ask "How is Joe doing?" "Oh, he is fine. Studying hard." And then they move on to another subject. But, if the reply would have been something like "He is sick in the hospital." They would keep talking about sickness and friends that have them. And I hate that :S So, today I'm gonna write about the good thing in life. (even if today wasn't one of the good days ^^') Yes, I have a lot of friends that care about me, in real life and over the net. I only consider a few my real good friends. (yeah, only a few. Don't you tell me that you don't fell more confortable talking to one over the other..) I even have a friend with whom I barely speak lately, but still, I feel I could tell her everything. (if something ever gets to happen ^^') And yes, I hang of with friends to watch movies or play games or just because we felt like it. And now and then I go to the movies. It's been a long time since I stopped going alone.. not that I had no one to go with, but I liked going on my own and sometimes even getting the whole room for myself XD Oh! And now that there are some days that are sunny and warm I go to my backyard and sit in the sun and read/write/draw/whatever :P Yes, yes, I should go outsite as in somewhere else outside my house and get a life.. but still xD And Soph!! Get that book back so I can read it Q_Q I should do a list of people to bother to get all the things I've been waiting for dunno how long now ^^'

There were many other things that I wanted to write about but now I forgot ^^'

Bunch of nothing

I think my blog is starting to be less visited by random people so let's get new entries! It's been so long since the last time I wrote that too many thing passed through my head so this is gonna be like a little bit of everything.

I can't believe I'm even writting it right now.. I should be going to bed coz tomorrow I have classes in the morning, but I know that if I go to bed I won't be sleeping until some hours later :S Yeah, my sleeping hours are such a mess. I mean, it's easy to stay a little bit longer every night and sleep a little bit more during the day (I usually I have my limit on getting up so it means sleeping less hours), but it's hard to turn it back :( Now I stay up almost until the sun rises and sleep until lunch is ready.. And is not like I stay up doing really important things.. well, sometimes I do. But is not something I could do during the day.. so, why do I do it over the night instead? Dunno. I tried going to bed early, but all it did was just that. I went to bed, but stayed awake for hours. I should ask my mom for something to get me sleepy but when I remember to do so she is already sleeping ^^' And my dog has been having some problems lately. (luckly one at the time XD) Some of them I didn't know what she had, which kinda worried me, but since my mom didn't care much it was ok I guess. Plus the next day or so she seemed to be ok. Some were her fault for having such gluttony or for doing things she shouldn't. But still, you see her all whimpering and like she can't move. (yeah.. she is a good actriss when she wants some attention. Whichhhh she didn't take from me ¬¬) And you know what? Having the house for myself can get to be so peaceful. I didn't notice until my mom came back tonight. She came and started telling me all the things she did over the weekend. (Día del Patrimonio, lots of thing to visit and do..) Every little detail and of course, all the background of the place so I get an idea. That's all good. But then she couldn't stop talking @_@ "Did you do that?", "Oh, look at this!", "You forgot to.." "*talking to herself outloud*" (you never know when she is just mumbling or saying something so you have to hear everytime to be sure) and after three days of silence getting all that was kinda annoying >.< I mean, I'm not trying to be mean. I never told her to shut up. I listened to everything.. kinda.. But.. bleh!

And I need to get out more, do something new maybe. Dunno. But if feels like I'm stuck in this routine and I'm not doing anything to avoid it. My excuse? Waiting for warmer days ¿? If I even have a excuse o.O Finding something to do? There are plenty of thing to do. But I probably look out for them, see the schedule, how good it is, and do nothing. Nothing really gets to me. Like saying "Oh, look at this! I wanna do this!". I feel like in a movie where there is that scene where the character is standing in the middle as everything moves at a high speed and is all blurry except for the character. You get the idea :P I feel like I'm stuck as everyone else is doing stuff and moving everywhere. Bleh. And I don't do anything to change that and no one is going to come and push my in a direction, that's something I need to do on my own :/

And I don't know from where I took that "bleh", but I've been saying it (or thinking it) a lot. Hehe. So, bleh. I'm in a bleh mood. But don't worry, you know me. I can be in a blah mood and by happy and the same time... or for a short time in between? o.O Lol I'm sounding so like a teen XD Not that I wanna grow up ¬¬ Anyway, a good firend of mine once told me that maybe I should make a blog and write about stuff. That that maybe helps. And I think in a way it does :) I mean, that was the first reason of why I started this blog ;)

(And for future (and past) references, no, I don't say names when I refer to people. So if you wanna take credit and you deserve it I'm not gonna stop you :P)